Any movie guide will tell you that The Bridges of Madison County kicks off when Robert Kincaid, a National Geographic photographer, finds Francesca Johnson living in Iowa, where her “passionate nature” has long been denied. We see her settled in her life on the farm, and she is all right – in the film she says “it is a good life” – she is grateful for the community support, the kind people. Her husband says he cannot sleep without her by his side, he is that used to her. Her family doesn’t necessarily engage her deeply, understand her, see her, or even talk to her much. But they live together; this is how it is. Many of us can identify with a life that is “not so bad” – it has its routines, and it works on some levels. Seldom do we feel the anguish of experiencing something radically different, radically fulfilling and magical, only to have to go back to what turns out to be, in retrospect, a half-life. Thank goodness! Nor are we suggesting that the way out of such a humdrum existence might be to run off with another man – or any other dramatic changes. In fact, in the film Francesca holds back from doing this. It becomes an unusual kind of love story; there is loss involved, but at its heart is the radical discovery of, and importance of, authenticity. What do we mean by this? Often we do not know or cannot remember who we really are, what tickles us, what would make every day feel like a present just waiting to be unwrapped. Your essential or authentic self may be buried under an adapted, compliant or angry, rebellious self, who came about to deal with the challenges of life. You may be deeply dissatisfied and blame your current life circumstances, your job, your parents, or an unhappy marriage, when in actual fact the key to change does not lie here. Personal authenticity is something you connect with on the inside; it is not about changes you make in your life on the outside. You can continue to live the same life and yet be radically changed. It’s hot in Iowa when Francesca and Robert meet. There is also a metaphorical heat on the boil, which is about Francesca’s inner impulse to express herself most fully. The blood is cooking to the surface. Their passion unfolds because Robert sees and invites Francesca’s authentic self – her soul that expresses itself in music, dancing, eating, drinking, laughing, the appreciation of beauty, and making love. Her senses are awakened. Francesca feels alive. She feels! Our message, in examining this film, is that you too should seize authenticity when it shows itself to you. Francesca decides not to leave with Robert, and not to see the world. On a literal level, she argues that it will kill her husband, that her children don’t deserve it, and that her guilt about her actions will poison her love affair with Robert. On a symbolic level, we might say that she plans to retain only the essence of her discovery. The new world is inside her. When you connect with authenticity, you become your own wellspring. You discover authentic love, and it is something that you carry within yourself – it is not contained in a single person, who drives away in a retro pick-up truck on a rainy day. When you are the wellspring of your own being, you can be in the desert forever. Francesca has had authentic love revealed to her, and can express it to her family when they return from the fair. For 24 years, both she and Robert are sustained by their experience, even though they are not together. After her death, Francesca lovingly assists her children through a process of getting to know her most authentically, through her journals – because, she says, as you get older you realise that nothing is more important than taking the risk of being known. We suggest that if you feel a lack of energy and vitality, and are not living authentically, that you resist doing something dramatic like leaving a relationship, or a job, to try and sort the problem out. Rather, take a leaf out of Francesca’s book: begin by standing still, and looking inwards. This is where true transformation can take place. The rest, we find, falls into place quite naturally as you walk further and further towards yourself.
Dr Jana Lazarus (a clinical psychologist) and Miranda Wannenburgh (a counsellor) run Change Matters, a creative, out-of-the box consultancy for personal change, in Cape Town. If you wish to cross the bridge, feel free to contact us. 021 788 5727 www.changematters.co.za Read the other two articles in the Movie Series from Changematters : - The Titanic and The Matrix |
Welcome!
