I attempted suicide in January and I'm trying to face how my life has changed since then. Im on Venlor, Zopax (when I need it) and Noxidem to "sleep". I don't sleep very well because I get very realistic, "horror movie"-type nightmares, which wake me up and mess me up so badly that I' still get depressed and sob even with the anti-depressants.

I'm so tired of ignorant people labelling me as crazy that it makes me too scared to ask for help or go back to hospital because they just don't understand. It hurts very deeply because some friends of my boyfriend's call me"Psycho-Sam".

Most of the time I just pretend that I'm happy and okay and when I don't have the strength to pretend, I just isolate myself and wait till I get home and have done everything I need to so that I can take my sleeping pill and try again tomorrow. I'm confused and scared. I don't want to feel suicidal and I don't want to feel hopeless.

I'm also scared that I may damage my daughter's (10years) mental health or if the depression is genetic, she might also end up being depressed.  I almost feel guilty for bringing a child into this world, especially because I love her so much and she has a good heart, I'm scared people will hurt her.

Any ideas for a plan of action?