Where do I start?  I am so confused.  So hurt.  So unsure of what to do or where to go!

I have been married for 2 years, we have been toghether for 4 years and have a 3 year old daughter.  I used to love this man dearly, respect him and thank God every day for him but thing have gotten so bad I have no idea who this person is I am married to.  All we ever do is fight, break each other down, say the most hurtful things to each other.

Yes I am mostly to blame but why did I feel that I needed to hurt him... What did he do to me for me to want to make him feel bad about himself.  Where did it start and how did it get so bad?

We have no respect for each other anymore and I doubt if he even loves me anymore.

I love my husband dearly but surely if we cannot sort this out we should part ways, not only for our child but for ourselves too?  It cannot be good to be this unhappy all the time?

He tells me I made him the way he is but surely if that is true then he made me the way I am too?

Yes I have done some really horrible, hurtful things to him but why?  I have never felt good enough for him... I have never felt like I am what he really wanted.  Was this my way of trying to push him away to see how much he did care for me?  If he cared for me he would stay!

We have tried counselling but we never carry on with it.  It is asif we are different people when we go for counselling and we do not really talk about what the problems are.

It has reached a point were we just never seem to be happy at all.  We are always fighting and trying to hurt each other.  We are hurting so why should the other not be hurting too? 

I cannot talk to my husband about anything and never will again because anything I say gets thrown back in my face when we fight, so why even open myself up to that? 

Is this marriage worth trying to save and if so where do we need to start?  Who do we talk to and how do we resolve this?

Hi Zee,

If you both REALLY want to work out the problems but don't know how and/or where to start....then a professional marriage counsellor is a good way to go.

However, it is up to you both to be honest and open in the sessions...otherwise it won't work.  The psychologist is dependent on both of you to bring the honesty to the sessions....they can't perform miracles

But it takes two to tango....so if both of you don't want to work things out and grow together....then there is little you can do...UNFORTUNATELY.

Good luck and I sincerely hope that decisions will be made that makes you happy.

jt